“Mom, can I chuggle with you?”
Of course. I can never say “no” to “chuggling” (read: cuddling)
I do the classic half-roll-while-lifting-the-covers move and make room for my not-so-small 4 year old little man, where he curls up next to me and twirls my hair until he falls asleep.
And the baby wakes up with the 3:00 train and wants to nurse, and there is room for her, too.
And soon it is 5:00am and my bubbly two year old morning glory bounces her way in to say good morning to her daddy before he makes his way to work.
5 in the bed, and we always make room.
The scene looks a lot less like the peaceful scene of a well-rested mother in her crisp white cami cuddling her little rosy-cheeked cherub they show in mattress advertisements, and a lot more like an abstract Picasso painting with unidentifiable body parts sprawled about.
And I, an introvert, find myself making room, but also gasping for air. Lisa-Jo Baker said it best when she said “I-want-to-be-a-mother-if-the-baby-would-just-leave-me-alone”. Yup.
This work of making room – it started at the very beginning, as soon as my womb was occupied and started expanding to hold all the love. I’ve never been alone since, and there is always enough room.
I am as happy at home as a whale is in the ocean – but we both need to come up for air. This crowd, I am so dependent on them, like water, I just need to know I can take a breath, or a little stretch, every once in awhile.
This beautiful, messy crowd, crowds my arms, house, bed, mind and heart.
Writing along with other brave souls for Five Minute Friday here: